#got so emotional seeing alains suit

[thinkingaboutfilm11]

F1 exhibition in London!!!

[erekuri]

OK BIG BRAIN TIME! Joker Game x BABYMETAL AU

For anyone who may not know who BABYMETAL is, they are a Japanese idol group/metal band with 2 (formerly 3) members. They are popular for the way they combine Japanese idol cuteness with heavy metal, and some have dubbed their style “kawaii metal.” Their music is amazing for real please check it out! 

BABYMETAL are loved in Japan and around the world, and they’ve met many big names in metal/rock such as Metallica, Judas Priest, and Dragonforce. They have choreography in their songs and their performances are really fun to watch :D

So, I was in the shower when this idea came to me. Since originally they had 3 members, I was thinking that the 160 cm trio of Miyoshi, Hatano, and Jitsui would be well-suited for this. BABYMETAL also consists of a band, so the other 5 spies would be in said band, and Yuuki would be the manager. So it’ll look like this:

IDOLS:

Miyoshi (center/lead vocalist)

Hatano (vocalist/rapper)

Jitsui (main vocalist)

BAND:

Kaminaga (drums/waidako)

Tazaki (keyboard/piano)

Fukumoto (lead guitar/violin)

Odagiri (bass guitar/cello/harp/acoustic)

Amari (secondary guitar/trumpet/saxophone) 

IDOLS:

By center, I mean that Miyoshi will almost always be at the center of their photos and is deemed as the ‘main member.’ (In K-pop terms, think of visuals and centers such as Yoona from Girls’ Generation or Kai from EXO.) He’s the member who will usually take the lead in interviews because he’s the oldest, though all 3 seem to have drunk from the fountain of youth lol. Jitsui is the main vocalist, so he gets the most lines as well as the high notes if the song has one. Hatano gets the least, but generally the line distribution is even enough that there are little complaints. He will also rap on occasion (think Linkin Park or Hollywood Undead) but most of their songs are singing-based. Hatano and Miyoshi will also do adlibs while Jitsui is known for his stunning vocal runs. Even though Jitsui is their main vocalist, Miyoshi is the one who gets put in the center of their dance formations more often. 

Ah right, their voices. (Since I am more familiar with K-pop rather than J-pop vocalists, they’ll be my main references here. My apologies in advance.)

Jitsui is the main vocalist. He needs a sweet voice to compliment his sweet face, but it’s also gotta be powerful. Ryeowook from Super Junior would be the perfect fit here, because it’s got this sweet tone to it but also nice and clear and the high notes would sound like a literal choir of angels. 

Miyoshi’s vocal color would be like Suho from EXO. Clear and sweet and comforting. His falsettos are the most flawless thing you’ve ever heard, and the emotion he puts into his singing is on another level. His voice is, in a word, PRETTY.

Since Hatano does both vocals and rap, I’m thinking his vocal color would be like Key from SHINee. With that higher tone he has, it suits Hatano’s appearance and personality wonderfully. Both his singing and rapping are amazing and he likes to scream sometimes to hype up the crowd lol.

(All vocalists mentioned are from SM Entertainment groups,,, damn, I really said SINGERS ONLY and I really like all 3 choices I made omg. MY MIND.)

(In the real BABYMETAL, member Su-metal sings the majority but I am not deep enough in the fandom to know how fans feel about it. I don’t mind too much since the songs slap either way lmao. And I think the balance is nice but that’s just me. However, for the 160cm trio, I had to even it up because I am someone who typically prefers more even line distributions when it comes to idol groups.)

As for their dancing, BABYMETAL’s choreography is a unique one where 1 is center and the other 2 are backup. For my AU, however, I’d make the choreo more like EXO-CBX in that it’s suited for 3 people, while also taking notes from Super Junior (for their earlier metal songs) or Dreamcatcher (for their famous ‘anime-style’ music.) 

BAND:

Because they’re a metal group, Kaminaga will almost always be on the drum kit, and by God he is good at it. The drum kit he uses is one you’ll see in most metal bands, but he also uses an auxiliary drum kit (which is electrical and has sensors and stuff) for the group’s more experimental tracks. When they want to go something more traditional or epic, he’ll bring out his wadaiko (traditional Japanese drum) and go at it. He’s also the unofficial leader of the band. 

Tazaki plays the keyboard. I personally envision Tuomas from Nightwish when I think of this position, but there are other keyboard players in metal bands out there that are fun to watch. Tazaki is generally a calm person, but when he plays he headbangs like crazy. He’ll play the piano when they do softer songs, and his pretty fingers are mesmerizing to watch. Oh yeah, and the keyboard he uses is a synthesizer due to the underlying ‘pop’ aspect in their music, considering it’s for an idol group.

Fukumoto would be the main/lead guitarist. He’d get pretty much all the solos (though Amari might join in as the secondary guitarist). He’s hailed as one of the best guitarists of all time, and he plays a major role in the musical arrangements of the songs. He’s also a prodigy when it comes to the violin, which he’ll sometimes use instead of his guitar for a more ‘symphonic’ sound. In reality, he’ll switch between them as he sees fit. 

Odagiri is the reliable bass guitar; underrated, but without them, the song just isn’t the same. As the bass player, he helps to balance out the guitars. He plays the cello when they want a jazzier theme or an orchestra kind of sound, and when they go the traditional route, in comes the harp. When the boys want to sing an acoustic version of their songs to show off their vocals, Odagiri will be the one to play the acoustic guitar to accompany them.

Amari is the secondary guitarist, and arguably the most versatile player in the band. He can not only play the electric guitar, but he can also play the trumpet and the saxophone. Their jazz songs would require them to be in the same song, but he can switch between the two easily enough, provided he’s given enough time to transition (otherwise he’ll simply use a pre-recording of one while playing the other live.) When a song requires both violin and guitar, Amari will take the role of the lead guitar while Fukumoto plays violin.

(The instruments mentioned are their main ones, though I’m sure they could all play more if they wanted to. I just don’t have the brain cells to spare for this lol. Maybe some other time I can give more thought to the band, but I’m ok with what I have for now. Besides, most metal bands will have 1 person per instrument or will bring in a whole orchestra, so what I have is farfetched ngl, and yet I like it because the D-Agency boys are just so talented at anything they try hehe)

OTHERS:

As stated earlier, Yuuki would be their manager. He is known to all as just “Yuuki.” He is the one who brought the group together, as the trio were originally part of an idol group but were mostly in the back, while the others were notable musicians who had no band to belong to. In his prime, he was an acclaimed songwriter and producer, but he’s also super happy doing what he does as a manager/producer for the 160cm trio and the band. He fought tooth and nail for the formation of this group and is more than satisfied with their explosive popularity. He will often clash with the CEO of their label, IG Productions, because he refuses to let them hold back the band’s growth. 

Now, y’all may be wondering… where is Sakuma??? 

Sakuma, Gamo Jirou, Yuriko Nogami, and Miyoko Yasuhara are all well-respected actors under the same agency (not IG but another one lol.) 

Yuriko and Miyoko are mostly in theatre, but Yuriko is a recurring favorite in J-dramas while Miyoko is popular in movies. 

Jirou is super versatile, and he’d be kinda like Robert Pattinson in the sense that he will often make fun of the stuff he’s been in. He likes to take on bizarre roles that test his limits as an actor, and his range is pretty much unmatched. He’s recognizable but people will still lose themselves in his brilliant acting. He is more often seen in movies, but sometimes he’ll star in a drama, especially one where he plays a villain/antagonist or a second-lead.

Sakuma is another J-drama favorite, and he has a legion of fangirls; as of late, those fangirls include aunties who love his clean and respectable image. He made headlines once when he shaved his head for a role as a soldier because it was such a shock that he looked as handsome as ever. He loves being in movies with a lot of angst/sad endings, and don’t get me started on how sad some of the dramas he’s in can be. And as a bonus, his characters almost always die and oof it really breaks people’s hearts. Occasionally, he’ll take on a more light-hearted role such as a friendly teacher. 

Sakuma and Gamo are both openly gay, and many fangirls will wish for them to find boyfriends because they want these actors to be happy. They have starred in movies together and their friendship off-screen can be considered ‘iconic.’ Fans ship them platonically. 

Sakuma would also be a major fanboy of the D-Agency band, and Miyoshi is easily his favorite member. He attends their concerts in disguise because he has a reputation, damn it. One time he dragged his actor friends along, and Gamo fell for Jitsui HARD. Meanwhile, Yuriko eventually starts a romance with the bassist, Odagiri, when she wanders backstage by accident on her way to the restroom. (Sakuma is jealous as fuck that she managed to get backstage but he won’t admit it.)

Alain, Marie, Jean, and Johann are all foreign celebrities, who are all wildly popular in Japan. Marie would be a popular actress who travels to Japan to participate in a film (directed by Jean, a highly-respected director) that takes place there. It’d be a collaboration project between a French studio and a Japanese one. Alain would be a famous pop artist in France, and his songs can be meaningful and uplifting or super raunchy and inappropriate as hell, no in-between. He goes to Japan because he’s interested in their newest idol/heavy metal fusion group. Johann is a talented lyricist/producer and he prefers to write songs for other people and avoid the drama that comes with being a celebrity. Alain drags him to Japan because why not?

END:

Back to the band, their debut song would be ‘Reason Triangle’. ‘Double’ would be for a J-drama collab in which Sakuma finally gets to meet his favorite group (???) idk but their discography would also include songs like:

Taking Off - ONE OK ROCK

Fukagyaku Replace - My First Story

Take Off - 2PM

Cosmic Railway - EXO

CORE PRIDE - UVERworld

Signal- TK from Ling tosite sigure

FEED THE FIRE - coldrain

Kyouran Hey Kids!! - THE ORAL CIGARETTES

And that’s all I can think of for this AU. I can’t believe I wrote so much but this idea just wouldn’t leave my head so I had to write it all down. I hope y’all enjoy my ramblings lol. 

[venus-says]

Kamen Rider Ghost Movies and Specials

It's very amusing that I'm covering a horror movie here, but that isn't a part of the Ghost series.

It is time to (kinda) close the book on the Ghost season.

I gotta be honest, I wasn't looking forward to doing this, and I was both very disappointed and also very surprise. It was a fun journey, with a few questionable choices, but still fun nonetheless.

But before I get to the works that belong under this umbrella, we'll dive into something a bit different at first...

Kamen Rider: THE FIRST & Kamen Rider: THE NEXT

So, while looking at the list of Ghost's movies I saw that Kamen Rider 1 was on the list and that it was also technically part of the canon. I debated if I should watch it or not since, after all, my knowledge of the OG Kamen Rider is pretty much below basic and I was very afraid I would be missing in a lot of stuff. I was well aware I wouldn't be able to watch the actual show right now and I didn't want to read the wiki so I was about to give up on the idea when I looked at my notes and I saw that Kamen Rider THE FIRST and THE NEXT were a thing, and I thought this would fit in perfectly with the amount of time I have right now. I knew THE FIRST was a remake/adaptation of the original TV show and the manga and THE NEXT was its sequel so this would probably give me enough context to watch Kamen Rider 1.

And I wish I had done some more research before watching these movies because I feel like watching THE NEXT was a mistake.

Like, while I can't attest how truthful to the source material THE FIRST is, it was pretty much one of those compilation movies. The impression I had was that they choose the most crucial moments in a "The Best of" format and just glued that together and sold it as a movie. Which was not really a problem because it was pretty much a very solid movie, despite the cuts that leave a lot of gaps between each point. It lacked a lot of information, like how Hayato got to Shocker, and it kinda wasted time with the plotline of the kids from the hospital that didn't get a proper payoff, but it was still an entertaining movie. I love the action scenes, I'm not a specialist in this matter but it was really refreshing seeing a fight scene that was pretty much all done with practical stunts and very little CGI. This movie made me really curious to watch the original show, I know this is not exactly what I'll get whenever I watch it, but it left the "I want more" taste in my mouth.

THE NEXT on the other hand, while it was more of a "film" rather than a "compilation", it was also less of a Rider movie, they had riders on it, but it felt like they weren't the main focus. The feeling I had while watching it was that the producers either read the Helter Skelter manga, or watched Perfect Blue, or they saw one of those conspiracy theories of artists who don't seem to age that died and were replaced and wanted to make a horror movie that would deal in with the cruelty of the entertainment world, but they got denied and were put in to make the sequel of THE FIRST without wanting it, so they picked their original idea and shoved Kamen Rider into it as a secondary element that feels like it doesn't belong in that movie, and in the end, it fails at both. Admittedly, the horror portion was pretty good, I would be interested in watching it. It was the rider portion that was a letdown, it was pretty much just some random action, and while watching that girl fighting with a chainsaw was cool as hell there wasn't much background stuff to justify all of that and put some meaning on it. And there's also the terrible final scene with that awful CGI fire that was cringy as hell. If you want some advice, skip this one, it's not worth it.

Kamen Rider Ghost: Legendary! Riders' Souls!

Because I was left with the feeling that I got no useful information after watching THE NEXT, I decided to do something that I never do that is watch the web specials they release for each movie in the hopes that I would have enough context to watch Kamen Rider 1 without a problem. And well... I didn't expect them to be so pointless. Like, they have enough content to be its own TV movie and it's all just to explain how they got the Rider Eyecons, AND THAT'S IN THE MOVIE FOR LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!! And like, these form changes are so useless that if they had taken that out of the movie it wouldn't make a difference!!! I swear to god, why do they still think this kind of stuff is cool? UGH

I don't have much to say because this was pretty much just a boss rush, but I have to say this. PLEASE STOP BRINGING FINAL BOSSES BACK, they're final bosses for a reason goddammit, they're not cannon fodder! When you bring a final boss back anytime you have a chance it just loses the cool effect it could have. Please, Kamen Rider, stop, we get it, you love your own franchise, you don't need to keep doing this circle jerk all the time when you wanna do something cool that serves as an homage to your own history.

Kamen Rider 1

Complains aside, finally the actual first Ghost movie, in the Ghost Movies and Specials post.

And this was a great movie, probably my favorite thing that came out of Ghost. This movie is exciting, it has things for both old and new fans, the plot is pretty decent, the action is a lot of fun, and the emotional beats work very well. I felt in love with Takeshi after this movie, he's such a cool guy, and I really like the actor, it was always a joy seeing him on the screen, his whole thing with Mayu was great, it was very endearing, and when Takeshi dies I really felt it, and the only reason why I'm okay with them bringing him back is that I like him so much and I didn't want to see him die. If THE FIRST made me want to watch the original series, seeing Takeshi in this movie made me want that even more.

I expected the Ghost cast to be the low point of this movie, and while my biggest complaint is about a thing related to the Ghost lore, I overall liked seeing Takeru tag along with Takeshi. To the surprise of a total of 0 people, Makoto was useless again, but honestly, his participation in this movie is so minor it doesn't even bother me. I also like that the villains of the movie were Shocker and Nova Shocker and not that white-suit guy from the specials. Having both Shockers there fighting not only the riders but also each other earned a lot of points with me, I particularly love how Nova Shocker decided to do their thing by embracing capitalism and becoming a corporation because corporative people are the scariest and I love when they make villains based on that.

But I think what I like the most of this movie is that brings up to discussion a theme that I always thought the show should've tackled on TV that is the importance of life, and all that Love&Peace talk about how we're all connected, and that we're connected to nature, that is connected to the world, and yadda yadda yadda. Yes, it's a pretty old speech and everything, but it's one of the subjects that match the most with what I believe is the premise of this show, and while I love that this is a part of this movie, it's pretty sad that none of this bleeds out to the TV show.

And talking about things that are pretty sad, the element I liked the least was the thing that Mayu had a very powerful Eyecon that has been dormant inside her. I understand this is a Ghost movie and they wanna use their gimmick, but they could've used Takeru's gimmick of going full ghost mode and start fo follow Mayu while invisible instead of making the final villain just another MOTW. I honestly think the conflict between Shocker and Nova Shocker was enough to make everything they wanted to do, on the scale they envisioned, without having to add anything related to the villains of this season.

Regardless of the complaints, this is worth watching, for sure, and I wish I hadn't wasted my time with THE NEXT and the specials because I wish I could've met this movie way sooner. XD

Ghost: The 100 Eyecons and Ghost's Fateful Moment

This movie... was a choice. I feel like I have nothing to say about this movie, it was empty, it was pretty much a copy of the Wizard and the OOO's movies merged together, there were a lot of depiction of historical figures that would probably leave some people turning on their graves, they tried to make not just one but TWO familiar dramas and both of them failed in being interesting or having a good pay off at the end, and if all of that wasn't bad enough, guess what? Takeru died again! And was "revived" once more! Yay! I swear, this movie is so frustrating, I just wanna forget it exists.

Well... at least the new Napoleon and Darwin forms looked good I guess.

The Legend of Hero Alain

Now, what wasn't a frustration was Alain's special series! I absolutely love being able to see different points of view of the same story, and being able to see that from the perspective of who became my favorite among the riders of this season was a true delight. I do think episode 4 was a bit useless and if they wanted to make an epilogue they could've done something better, but the other 3 episodes are pretty good.

In particular episodes 2 and 3, that are from the time around his redemption arc, were very touching and a huge part of that is obviously from the presence of the best character of this show, the #1 takoyaki lady, Fumi-san, who once again was here giving her wisdom and passing down some of the messages the TV show tried to pass but that it failed completely. And even though I knew they would eventually hit a point where they would talk about her death, I was still hit by the feels like if they were a truck and I cried.

If I have to say two things that I don't like about these specials it would be that "Human Life Course" Takeru, Akari, and Onari had in episode 3, that was just ridiculous. And I'm not the biggest fan of having this thing of Alain and Fumi having a story that goes way back than what we saw in the show. But honestly, even with these problems, this is one of my favorite media that came out of Ghost.

Kamen Rider Ghost RE:BIRTH: Kamen Rider Specter

Last, and deservedly the least, is Specter's movie. And talk about a bad movie,

You would think that at least on his own movie Makoto would be important, play a big role, but even though he defeated the big bad in the end, he actually did nothing that couldn't have been done for another character. Heck, if you think about it, the real hero at the end of the day was Onari because it was sneaking around and stealing that gem that solved the main problem about clearing the sky atmosphere in the end. All Makoto did here was take a dumb decision after the other and is dreadful to watch.

I think the biggest problem of this movie is that it depends on us believing in feelings developed between two characters that know each other for less than three days and one of those characters is framed by the movie SINCE THE BEGINNING as a maniac villain. And our pay off of this is to believe Makoto forgive the guy who was conducting crazy experiments and that threatened to kill his beloved sister because he considered her a failure. Thanks, I hate it!

Oh yeah and we had power-ups for Necrom and Specter that came out of nowhere and we just have to buy it. At least Spector's new form looks pretty cool, despite me not buying the "sin" motif, I would like to have an opinion on Necrom's form, but it happened on a shitty rain scene and I couldn't distinguish any memorable feature while watching it.

All in all, this movie was another disappointment.

Well, that's it for Ghost. I wish I could have something good to say to sendoff this series, but I honestly don't so I'll just wrap-up here after all this post is already long enough. What are your thoughts on these? Have you watched any of them recently? Let me know in the comments down below. Stay healthy, stay safe, never stop resisting, thank you so much for reading, and until the next time. Bye~

[blackbeltkitten2ficsnships-blog]

Bad, bad Alphonse Capone (Chapter 3)

Scarface Versus Snorky.

Fandom/Movie/Series/Ect: Night At The Museum

Setting: Larry is still the night guard, several exhibits from the Smithsonian are at the Museum of Natural History

Pairing(s): Eventual Capoleon, Jedtavius, Teddy/Sacagawea

Characters: Al Capone, Napoleon Bonaparte, Ivan the Terrible (Awesome), Larry Daley, Teddy Roosevelt, Sacagawea, Jedediah Smith, Octavius, Ahkmenrah, Shaka Zulu, several Zulu tribe members, Dr. Richard McPhee, several Mobsters, Antonio Villalobos, Mariana Villalobos, Ramón Espina, Doctor Jess McClain, Docteur Alain Chaput

Genre/Warnings: Some slightly graphic violence, Foul language, Fic inspired by a song, I’ll come up with more tags later,  Chapter names may change later

Notes: I listened to the song “Bad Bad Leroy Brown” by Jim Croce about a thousand times and decided I just HAD to make a fic.  The reason Al and the boys get made into color (as a plot point) is so everyone can see what happens to Al.

If anyone is OOC or this reads like a Dick & Jane, this is my second posted fic and I haven’t done much writing in the NATM field. (Disclaimer: I don’t own the song, nor the characters.) (If anything suddenly changes, I had to fix a mistake I missed.)

(I am starting to see why they say “The beginning and end are easy, the middle is hard.”  this chapter is either going to be good, or real fucking boring, you decide.)

Word count: 1,300

Summary: Al and the boys practically beg (Though they won’t stoop so far as to say they were actually begging.) for him and his gang to be colored up like everyone else.  Finally one day they get a paint-job, despite McPhee’s ever-present paranoia; Capone and the gang being popular in grey-scale.  Several weeks after they finally get what they want, Al gets in a fight, and doesn’t come out of it well.  Luckily for him Napoleon is compassionate enough to put up with Al’s grating personality to help him.

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Last Chapter

Thank God Larry got a bottle of fleshtone latex for Halloween.

Disguising Al’s stitching for every morning was far easier than he’d thought it would be.

Al was ready for this nightmare to be over.  ‘Change his bandages once a day.’

Napoleon is nothing if not dutiful.  He’s done just as prescribed, every day, the past couple days.  Al is getting sick of it.

Al sits on the desk, slapping Napoleon’s hand away for the second time.

“Quit tryna mollycoddle me, I can do it myself!”

“I plan to do as Docteur Chaput told, you cannot stop me.”

Al slaps his hand away again.

Everyone hears an angry screech from the office.

“They were doing so well...”  Teddy sighs, unwrapping himself from Sacagawea.

“I thought it was amusing, their little vendetta.  Now it’s annoying.”  She chuckles.

“I laughed the first time as well, but since they’ve been consistently interrupting our evenings...”  Teddy rubs his temples.

“We really should go see what they’re doing.  If Al breaks his stitching it could make things worse.”  Sacagawea stands and pulls Teddy off of the bench and through the doorway.

“Come on!  Really guys?”  Larry stares at the two.

“He keeps changin’ my bandages, and I already told him, I can do it myself!”

Napoleon puts all of his weight on Al’s stomach and tightens his grip on Al’s chin, dangerously close to the wounds on his cheek, making Al squint.

“I told the docteur I would change them, I refuse to go back on my word!”

Larry sighs and scrubs a hand over his face.

“Get up, guys.  Al, let Napoleon dress your wounds.”

“Aw, come on!”

Napoleon grins triumphantly once they’re both righted.

“Sit.”  Napoleon points at the desk. 

Larry gives them both a pointed look and leaves, meeting Teddy and Sac in the hallway and closing the door.

“I have a question.”

“Shoot, Nippy.”

“When I described your injuries, you looked and sounded...  Distraught.  Why?”

Al’s eyes search the wall over Napoleon’s shoulder.  “It’s nothing, Shortstack...”

Napoleon knits his eyebrows together but doesn’t press on.  He’s seen trauma, mild to severe, physical and emotional, and thinks he should give Al some time before asking again.

That doesn’t mean he won’t look into Al’s history to see if that gives him any information, though.

Napoleon walks towards Al’s room.  He spots a group of Al’s gangsters near by.  He catches a fleeting bit of their whispered conversation, where they lean on the wall opposite the Al Capone exhibit.

“Damn, Big Boy looks rough.  I ain’t never seen him this bad.”

“Yeah, even when they first started callin’ him Scarface he didn’t look so...  Depressed?”

“Least we can do is start callin’ him Snorky again, what do ya say, Ralph?”

“Best idea you’ve had in a while, Tony.”

Napoleon looks into the room from the doorway.

Al is looking at a hand mirror dejectedly, lifting the latex carefully and examining the stitches.

Napoleon gets a few steps into the room before Al’s men grab him by the arms.

“Ehi! Miullu, i idioti!“

Al almost drops the mirror.  He spins around and holds up a hand to keep the gangsters from dragging Napoleon to the door.

“French Toast, what the Hell are ya doin’ here?”

“I wanted to remind you to meet me in the office, evidently your men dislike my commitment.”

“Nippy, don’t be dramatic, I told em to keep everyone out.  Thanks for remindin’ me though...”

“Monsieur Daley, can you teach me how to use that, uh, laptop?”

“Yeah sure, what do you want to look up?”

Napoleon fumbles for a moment.

“No that’s alright, you don’t have to tell me.  Here, sit...  Now see the keys?  Press them gently to make words...”

Napoleon accidentally runs twelve W’s into the search bar, causing Larry to snicker.

“Now you know that can happen, use the backspace to erase all but one.”

Napoleon is a little less heavy-handed this time.

There, now if you can manage to spell everything well enough-  Don’t give me that look, I know how spelling worked back in your days.  Anyway you should get the results you want.  Press the enter key when you wanna make it search.”

Larry holds the mouse and slides it around.

“Use this to click on things-”  He deliberately clicks it a few times.  “-And that little X in the corner will close everything.”

“Grazie, Monsieur Daley.”

“No problemo.  I’m gonna go do a round, catch you later.”

Larry pats him on the back and walks off

Napoleon, backspacing the remaining W and, carefully selecting keys, types out ‘Al Capone injuries’.

The little circle spins, then ‘The infectious disease that sprung Al Capone from Alcatraz.’

“I hope the tablet got rid of that...”

Napoleon moves the little hand down and clicks on one link simply titled ‘Al Capone’, and hopes for the best.

Luck is on his side.  To the right side of the screen is what is presumably a photo of Al when he was older, in black and white.  He’s wearing a nice dark grey three piece suit, a shiny, striped tie, white shirt and pocket square, and a shiny watch chain.  He’s also gained weight and lost hair.  The banner under the photo reads ‘Al Capone in 1930.’

“Yet he pokes at me because of the paintings I commissioned when I was in my forties.  It must run in Italian blood...  Or it’s all the bread and cheese.”

Al was born in the Brooklyn borough of New York City.

“That’s not very far from the museum, is it?  I wonder if I could convince Larry to take Al and myself there..”

His parents, Teresa and Gabriele, immigrated from Angri, Italy.

He had eight siblings, six brothers and two sisters.

He did well in school but had difficulty following the rules at his parochial Catholic school.  He was expelled permanently at fourteen for hitting a female teacher.

“At least I didn’t hit my teachers, u mo Diu.“

He worked at a bowling alley and a candy store, and was influenced Johnny Torrio, whom he later regarded as a mentor.

First he got involved with the Junior Forty Thieves, then the Bowery Boys.  Then he joined the Brooklyn Rippers, and after that the powerful Five Points Gang.

He was employed by mentor and racketeer Frankie Yale, who tended bar at a dance hall and saloon called the Harvard Inn.

“Saloon?  I thought that was only in the West in the eighteen seventies?”

Al inadvertently insulted a woman while working at the door of a nightclub in Brooklyn and was slashed by her brother Frank Gallucio.

“Oh...”

Napoleon opens a new tab, searches ‘Al Capone scars’ and pulls up a photo that marks each slash with a number.

They match scarily close to the fresh ones on the side of Al’s face now.

Napoleon’s mouth falls open slightly and his eyebrows pull together.  He switches back to the other tab.

The wounds caused people to give him the nickname ’Scarface’ which Al loathed.  His close friends called him 'Snorky', a word for sharp dresser.

“Ay Nippy, watcha doin’?”

Napoleon quickly closes out the browser and shuts the laptop, none-too-gracefully.  Al smirks at him.

“Thought we were gonna meet in the office, what have ya been doin’?”

“Nothing, I was looking something up.  None of your concern.”

“Mhm, ‘lookin’ something up.’  Be sure clear the history when you’re done.”

Al spins around and saunters off towards the office.

“So, Short Stuff, did you enjoy ‘lookin’ something up.’?  Was it...  Sexy?”

Napoleon pulls the latex off roughly.

“It was informative.  The two photographs I looked at were...  A bit attractive.  No contest with the real thing, though.”

“Yeah, I bet.”  Al pulls a knowing smirk.  He doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does though.

Docteur = Doctor

Ehi! Miullu, i idioti! = Hey! Let me go, you idiots!

Monsieur = Mister

Grazie = Thank you

U mo Diu = My God

          First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Last Chapter

[arrghigiveup]

I love how we've been getting all these comments on the "greatest prank Fleury's ever played" and they're somehow always different:

When Tom Kuhnhackl was a rookie during the 2015-16 season, he noticed Fleury leave the Penguins' practice facility more quickly than normal but didn't really think too much of it.

His mistake.

Turns out Fleury had swiped Kuhnhackl's car keys, attached a few liquid chalk markers to his vehicle and parked it in front of where the autograph seekers gather and wait for players to leave the parking lot.

"Every single fan there signed my car," Kuhnhackl said, shaking his head. "I couldn't see out of any of the windows."

"Thank God there's a GetGo with a car wash down the road. It only took me a minute to get there, but I remember driving with my head out the window, trying to figure out where I'm going."

The legacy Fleury left in Pittsburgh involves equal parts pranks and good deeds done.

Bryan Rust remembers the time Fleury hung his clothes from the rafters at PPG Paints Arena, while former backup Jeff Zatkoff loves to tell the story of the time Fleury changed the labels on the hairspray and deodorant cans.

Bullano said Fleury once got Evgeni Malkin good when, after Malkin bought a new sports car, Fleury attached pop cans in hard-to-see places so it sounded like there was something seriously wrong.

"He's one of the funniest guys I've ever met," Kuhnhackl said. "A great character guy."

[source]

[img source]

(more under the cut)

During the AMA, Schultz was asked by a fan (Reddit User McCowan-) if he was part of a prank war within the team and what was the best prank that happened to him.

Schultz responded with a wonderful story about being pranked by Fleury shortly after being traded to the Penguins.

"I'm not a part of any prank war. I try to stay away from that stuff so it doesn't happen to me. The best prank that happened to me was right when I got here, my first or second practice. I go out for practice and all my street clothes are hanging up in the rafters thanks to Flower. I would say that was a good one."

[source]

[img source]

In addition to a decorated résumé—he has won more Stanley Cups (three) than the rest of Vegas’s roster combined (zero), and his 115 playoff games outpace any teammate by 35—this joie de vivre made Fleury perfectly suited for an expansion franchise. If the Golden Knights were indeed destined for a rocky maiden voyage, might as well have someone cracking jokes in the galley. (Or performing Fleury’s favorite prank by ducking under table cloths and dumping pasta sauce onto sneakers; rumored victims of the daring “shoe check” include NBC Sports announcer Pierre McGuire in a Philadelphia steak house and actor David Spade over dinner at Penguins owner Ron Burkle’s Beverly Hills mansion.)

[...]

Fleury is again sprawling, pokechecking and cart-wheeling as much as ever. His goals against average (1.77) and save percentage (.942) both rank second league-wide. “He’s a great leader,” Marchessault says. “It’s been 14 years, and he acts like he’s here [in the NHL] for two months.” Pranks were shelved while he healed, but Fleury is coming around there too. Returning to his hotel room during a recent road trip, Marchessault discovered water leaking onto the bathroom floor. Someone had sneaked inside and unscrewed the toilet pipes.

[source]

Crosby on his favorite Fleury prank: "He got stink bombs... They reek. He got at least 4-5 guys' hotel rooms with those. He found a way to pretty much evacuate a floor of the hotel with those stink bombs. He had so many. He kept it loose. There was something like that every day."

[source]

IAN COLE: “We were in L.A. last year. A large group of us went to dinner, and maybe six of us started to walk home, six of us wanted to go somewhere else. [Fleury] was in the group of six that walked home, and they were walkig by a skating rink, an outdoor skating rink. He went and rented some skates, kind of stiff-legged around the ice. Then went really fast, full-speed over the wall, tumbled over the wall and dropped like three feet to the ground, just to see what the security guards would do. They all come flying over, diving over the boards to make sure he’s OK. The other five guys are standing there just cracking up. Got a video of it, showed the boys. It was one of the funnier things I’ve seen, the security guards’ reactions. These high-school kids freaking out thinking somebody killed themselves on their outdoor rink in Santa Monica. It was pretty funny. He’s a character.”

[source]

[vid source]

Plenty of other prankster personalities have preceded Fleury. His first NHL roommate was current Montreal GM Marc Bergevin, a luminary in the field of hijinx. But few possess greater guile or wider diversity than Fleury. Over the years, his greatest practical jokes include:

Filling towels with shaving cream.

Nailing shoes to locker stalls.

Tying Coke cans to the bottom of Penguins center Evgeni Malkin’s new Porsche.

Stuffing Pittsburgh strength coach Mike Kadar’s car with packing peanuts.

Drenching teammates’ clothes in the shower and sticking them in the freezer.

Taping the spray button on a deodorant can, then lobbing that can into an occupied bathroom stall like a grenade. “Not ideal when you’re taking a No. 2,” says Devils assistant coach Alain Nasreddine, who played in Pittsburgh for bits of three seasons.

Hanging new players’ clothes from arena rafters. “If you know the rink security guys,” former Penguins forward Eric Fehr says, “you can accomplish quite a bit.”

[source]

Just. I love him so much.

Bonus #1: 

Ok...can’t make this up.  15 minutes before he takes the ice a very emotional game, Marc-Andre just snuck up behind me and SMACKED me in the back of the head!!!!   Different jersey...same man (...jerk.) -DP

[source]

Bonus #2:

Fleury on if he will prank his old teammates: "I had one in Vegas. I laughed. I can’t say it though, it’s not appropriate. Nothing so far. They should be out of their locker room now right? We’ll see." -SK

[source]

Bonus #3: Not a prank, but a great story all the same

I only spoke with Marc Andre Fleury three times during his tenure with the Penguins. Spending most of my time on the 7th floor while he rarely left the 1st didn’t afford me many chances beyond those few. But we had a funny connection that I can now share with you.

Starting in my first season anytime I introduced the team to the ice, Marc would without fail run down the runway. It took me half a season to realize he was timing his skate hitting the ice with when I said “Penguins”. To be certain, I tested him over two games. I varied my delivery. He changed his pace. Without fail, he nailed it each time.

Once I was certain, I no longer tested. In fact I took great pains to make sure we timed it without him having to kill himself. If we missed for some reason and he had a poor start I would blame myself.

By my rough estimate of four times a game over nine seasons, Marc Andre Fleury and I were in sync a little shy of 900 times.

He and I never once spoke of it. I will miss it greatly.

~Ryan Mill, Penguins public address announcer

[Source: 1, 2 and you can see a video of it happening here]

[filmstruck]

A Must-Watch Title for Jim Thompson Fans by Pablo Kjolseth

Where the Holy Heck has this movie been all my life? Seriously, Alain Corneau’s SÉRIE NOIRE (’79) is a bit of a mind-blower.

The film first came to my attention last August when a 35mm English subtitled print was doing the rounds and screening at the Metrograph, Cinefamily and the Chicago Film Society. Amélie Garin-Davet, the Film Program Officer at the New York office for the Cultural Services of the French Embassy, sent out an email to film programmers that might be interested to let them know that they could screen the imported film print if they cleared rights with Rialto Pictures. Sadly, my fall calendar was already set in stone and I passed up this singular opportunity. I really wanted to see it though, so shortly thereafter I made a compulsive Blu-ray purchase online without realizing the disc would not play on my Region 1 player. All the promised bonus features remain tantalizingly out of reach, and probably in French only with no subtitles. Alas.

Five months later and here is SÉRIE NOIRE again, this time available to all FilmStruck viewers as part of "The Life of a Salesman" series. It is unlike any other Jim Thompson adaptation I've ever seen and I strongly recommended it to any lover of raw and unpredictable performances, as well as to lovers of rich 1970s cinema the likes of which doesn't shy away from daily squalor or unique madness. If you are reading this and are a fan of Jerry Schatzberg’s SCARECROW (’73) starring Gene Hackman and Al Pacino, I’m talking to you. SÉRIE NOIRE mines that same pulsing vein, albeit with a bloodier and murderous edge, one that shows far more naked greed and desperation.

SÉRIE NOIRE was nominated for a Palme d'Or at Cannes and a César for Best Screenplay. A few years later Corneau would sweep up several César awards with TOUS LES MATINS DU MONDE (aka: ALL THE MORNINGS OF THE WORLD, ’91), starring Gérard Depardieu. Corneau (1943 - 2010) got his start as an assistant to Costa-Gavras and his last film, LOVE CRIME (’10) would later be remade by Brian De Palma as PASSION (’12). With almost 20 directorial features to his credit, I look forward to acquainting myself with his work.

His lead actor in SÉRIE NOIRE, Patrick Dewaere, first made an impression on me in GOING PLACES (’74), a film by Bertrand Blier in which the characters played by Dwaere and Depardieu are misanthropic thugs aimlessly traversing a landscape of victims in an assault on all things bourgeois. In SÉRIE NOIRE, Dewaere really took me by surprise in his ability to chart an extremely erratic emotional spectrum that ranged from unexpected tenderness to horrific rage. That he should die at his own hands in July of 1982 by shooting himself with a rifle at the age of 35, and this shortly after the release of a film in which his character commits suicide (PARADIS POUR TOUS [’82]), leaves us with a sad coda for that which might have otherwise been a very long and promising career.

The template for SÉRIE NOIRE is A Hell of a Woman, a 1954 novel by Jim Thompson. In that novel, the protagonist, Frank, has a job working collections for Pay-E-Zee Stores, a job that occasionally takes him door-to-door. He hates his life, wife, job and definitely hates the bills he can barely pay at the end of every month. Then he meets Mona, a beautiful girl being pimped out by an unscrupulous aunt. The film adaptation of Thompson's work here was done by both Corneau and Georges Perec, who was an award-winning French writer whose life would be cut short by heavy smoking (he died of lung cancer when he was only 45-years-old).

There are many moments in SÉRIE NOIRE that took me by complete surprise. It’d be a crime to list them all and, instead, I will limit myself here to three. One, the image of Dewaere sinking himself naked into a tub full of water with eyes and mouth wide open until he almost drowns himself. Two, a clumsily executed murder in which a towel is wrapped around the muzzle of a gun to act as a poor-man's silencer only to catch on fire once the bullet is discharged. Three, Dewaere prancing maniacally around in a suit coat his wife had previously stripped to ribbons. These are only some of many indelible images.

I don't know that Jim Thompson could have foreseen how these moments would have necessarily translated to the screen, but I do feel confident that had he lived just a couple more years to see SÉRIE NOIRE, he would have approved of the artful and unpredictable execution with which the filmmakers did their job.

[anythingstephenking]

The Dark Tower: Wizard of Oz Edition

Another three months passed without reading. What are you to do when the new Game of Thrones season is starting? Watch the entire series twice through obviously, while avoiding all other obligations.

After trudging through King’s “women endure awful things” years, the prospect of the next Dark Tower really kept me moving. This series is quickly becoming my most beloved in the King-o-verse, with Mid-World beginning to surpass even Derry, Maine in my favorite fictional places. Who cares about killer clowns when you have magic and Roland Deschain?

Here’s the thing though - Wizard and Glass was not my favorite installment. It’s ok - I have four more left to read and according to the afterword from King, at least two of these will be set in Mid-World (with one in our world (which is mucho intriguing to me)). I didn’t dislike the story per-se; I just wanted the ka-tet story of Roland, Eddie, Jake, Susannah and Oy. Instead we get the ka-tet story of Roland, Cuthbert & Alain from the time before the world “moved on” and Roland wasn’t a super cynical nutbag yet. This dude-wolfpack is fine and their adventures worthy of the almost 700 pages of material, but I sure missed my main gang.

Back up a bit - Wizard and Glass picks back up where The Waste Lands left us - stuck on a talking train that likes riddles and also likes killing humans. Basically Thomas the Train of your nightmares. While we’re right back where we left off, we’re 7 years later in the publishing world. That’s some George RR Martin shit right there; I’d be so bummed to wait 7 years for this. King published 9 more novels between, most of them about women getting beaten the fuck down. We’ve got a little bit of women getting the short end of the stick here too, unfortunately. More on that later.

After he finished producing his Fuck-You-Stanley-Kubrick miniseries version of The Shining, King was driving home from California (like can’t you afford a private jet, yo?) and decided it was time to kick around the next chapter of The Dark Tower. King says he took so long because this installment is a love story, which he claims is not his strong suit. I mean, Annie Wilkes, like, really loved Paul Sheldon, so ::shrug emoji::

So, we do begin with our pals from The Waste Lands. They’re all aboard the bizarro-thomas train, shooting riddles instead of bullets, trying not to die. If my life ever depends on my ability to tell riddles, I’d definitely be dead. This time Eddie, rather than Roland, saves the day and they depart off the train relatively unscathed and back marching towards the tower.

One of the most fascinating pieces of The Dark Tower universe is what is does with time and place. As Roland says, “there are other worlds than these.” This comes into focus a bit more as the gang gets off the train and appear to be in post-The Stand Kansas. We get references to Captain Tripps, Abigail, Randall Flagg (what a dick!) and others. Leave Mid-World, land in post-apocalyptic America! Hows that for a vacation? Precarious portals referred to as “thinnies” connect parallel worlds and apparently are really dangerous. Beware the thinnies y’all. The connective tissue between worlds is confusing and exciting and interesting and weird all rolled up into one. This connectivity gave us the opportunity to join Eddie, Jake, Susannah, Roland and Oy together, and for that I am thankful.

The rest of the story plays out mostly in flashback form. While this storytelling through the youth of Roland is certainly interesting, it did very little to move the core story forward. We get the lengthy tale of Roland’s original ka-tet, traveling as a means to keep an eye on a potential upheaval of power in Mid-World. We get a handful of new bad guys, most of whom are easily defeated. A mysterious general of rebellion John Farson is discussed but little seen - but I’d guess it’s not the last we’ve heard from him.

Roland (at the ripe age of 16) meets and falls in love with a local beauty, Susan Delgado, that has been promised to another. Pretty standard romance novel shit. Their love lives at the core conflict of the story, while Roland and Susan are sneaking around, boning each other brains out as horny 16 year olds will do, everything falls apart around them. It’s ok (spoiler alert) because everyone in Roland’s ka-tet makes it out, except for Susan who gets thrown into a bonfire, because, well she’s the woman and who needs her anyway?

We’ve also got some magic witch stuff, and a crystal ball that shows Roland his future, including Susan’s death. We learn that Roland already knows the fate of his current gang. It was shown to him by the wizard’s ball ages ago, but what he knows he’s not telling. Y’all, my friends are going to die at some point and I’ll be real sad.

We end circling back up with a Wizard of Oz confrontation with Randall Flagg (dick!) himself. Like for real Wizard of Oz - there’s a man behind a curtain and everything. At the end, our gang is back on the road where they started, following the path of the beam. 

They’re off to see The Tower.

While we get a lot of backstory here - what started the conflict in Mid-World, why Roland is so grouchy all the time - we don’t get any forward progress to The Tower. I know, it’s the journey, not the destination. But I’ve got 6 more books to get through before The Wolves of Calla.

It was a beautiful love story and nice to see Roland as a young human with emotions - he’s one of my favorites but the more I read, the less I can picture him as Idris Elba. He carries the weight of knowing the future and reliving his past, I suppose I’d be a curmudgeon if I was him too.

Best part was when Jake referred to their situation as “ka” (fancy word for “fate) and Roland replies: “kaka”. The Roland that makes a poop joke is my favorite Roland.

8/10

First Line: “ASK ME A RIDDLE” Blaine invited.

Last Line: With Oy in the lead, they once more set out for The Dark Tower, walking along the Path of the Beam.

I finished this while on vacation in the caribbean (HOT DOG LEGS); without my reference bibliography, I read my next two books out of order. So we’ll be doing The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon next, then Bag of Bones. Tata for now.

[depression-is-a-liar]

Self-post #41

“The (supposed) virtues of boredom”

05.06.17 

After pretty much a year and half of successfully staving of depression, I find myself concerned about whether I’m relapsing. Concerned? No, the correct word is in fact “TERRIFIED”.  For some time I’ve felt so strong, so resilient, so capable. Basically normal. This is not something I was ever really acquainted with, having dealt with turbulent emotions and extreme self-critical attitudes for most my life. Three years of therapy really did help me work through so much; it made me come to terms with a lot of my past and learn to forgive myself for being less than perfect.

So what has changed? Why now?

I haven’t been able to see a therapist for 8 months since I left Nottingham. I’m so stretched financially these days, I can no longer afford it. I knew this might eventually become a problem for me, and it’s certainly not a decision I wanted to make, but this is a reality I had to reluctantly confront. It’s hard not having a safe pair of ears on hand to help me process all my crazy on a fairly consistent basis. Don’t get me wrong, I share with friends, I don’t hold back. But I am wary to never burden anyone on a regular basis. I can’t accept being a burden to someone again, and it isn’t anyone’s responsibility to shoulder that. I take responsibility for my own happiness. Unfortunately, I don’t see my friends nearly as often as I would like, so the face-to-face support I get is also limited, and I haven’t really made any friends here.

Nevertheless, I have no specific reasons to feel so blue. Money worries aside, there hasn’t been any insurmountable disappointment or trauma that’s transpired. How I’m feeling lately is somewhat distinct to prior episodes though. It’s not so much marked by an ever pervasive sense of self-hatred and disgust, but rather it’s a feeling of general emptiness. Boredom. Apathy. Sprinkled with just a small dose of melancholy and occasional despair. I’m struggling to understand the purpose to my daily existence. Have I lost my value? Did I ever have any? What’s the point of it all?

My current relationship isn’t helping I suppose. He’s pretty much been depressed for a while (albeit moderate and not severe), and so I was trying not follow suit and instead be the pillar (for once). I feel like my attempts are failing in that respect and that I’m not being as compassionate/empathetic enough as is required. I honestly feel like I’m failing in a lot of senses when it comes to being the partner that he deserves actually. It almost seems like more karmic retributition. Ask me about work, hobbies and friends and while there is more I could achieve in these areas, I know I’m doing the best I can. But as a girlfriend, I’m feeling like I’m just not cut out for this whole long-term monogamous relationship thing and all its limitations. I’d rather not get into that now though, but it’s occured to me that it really is like Alain de Botton says; the romantic hopes that a relationship could be the solution for existential loneliness, but of course it isn’t. You’re still alone at the end of the day. I felt less alone at the start (of the relationship), but the feeling has returned and now I act alarmed, when I really shouldn’t be. You can’t escape yourself and sooner or later you’re left feeling too exposed with your flaws laid bare.

My mood has shifted like a pendulum from one extreme to the next. Tom thinks it’s expected, but I don’t get it when I was doing so great. I had completed the introductory Buddhism course I had been meaning to do for years, and was onto the next one, finally grasping the principles of meditation. There were other people in the class that exuded a warmness and it was so refreshing to be beside other people who were openly vulnerable and engaged in their own journey of self improvement. Earlier this year I also started yoga, and then pilates. I still hate my body but at least I’m developing some form of more compassionate relationship with it. These have all been big steps for me, not to be dismissed. I’m very proud of myself. However, after the course ended, my state of mind seemed to take a sharp decline, and I’m finding myself worse now than when I started. It almost doesn’t make sense. Was it too many truths for me to handle? Is my ego in a war against me to retain its identity of suffering and chaos? Did the prapañca go up a few notches into hyperdrive in order to overcompensate?

Despair is not imminent yet, as I kinda know what needs to be done. So, this is my plan (it almost reads like a new year’s resolution list but let’s call it a quick recovery plan instead):

The second meditation course starts today (level 2), and this time the habit needs to stick. I need prescribe to my daily meditation in a near religious fashion. I can’t afford therapy but I can afford to sit still for 20 minutes a day and observe my mind. I got a glimpse of how out of control it was when going through the first course and I know my life needs this. My mind needs to be harnessed, especially since I’m aware it’s doing all it can to avoid being present. From reactivity to responsiveness.

Reduce the weed (I’m not even enjoying it anymore, it’s just an ingrained habit at this point). I’m working on it (three weeks without any!). I have a flatmate moving in tomorrow (another choice I didn’t want to have to make), which will force me to quit this daily habit. Hey, who knows, maybe the company won’t be such a bad thing either? 

Get a flatmate to help with the financial burden of living in Cambridge (done).

Lower my expectations when it comes to what my boyfriend can do to help me through this. My happiness is my responsibility, no one elses. He’s going through his own struggle at the moment and I know how selfish depression can make you. I can’t take it personally or punish him for it.

Reconnect with old friends. Put myself in situations where I can meet new people and make new friends, even if it’s slightly unconventional and out of my comfort zone.

Write more. I stopped writing and I don’t think that’s been helpful when I don’t exactly have many other outlets. Who knows? Maybe my words can touch someone, make them feel less alone?

Lastly, stop resisting. The ebbs and flows are the natural cycle of life, and I musn’t get attached to any one state. It’s great to be happy, but it’s fine to be sad too (in a  bittersweet kind of way). It’s all part of the experience. The more I try to resist my sadness (and boredom) the more I will suffer as a result. Therefore, I need to gently embrace it and pull it in a bit closer to me. Try and understand what is contained in its message – what growth is still required? What wounds have I neglected to address? Why is stillness linked to discomfort? Why do feelings of boredom comes up persistently as a theme?

Worst comes to worst I will track down a therapist nearby and use some of the money I get from renting out the spare room to go to forthnightly sessions again. I have debts to pay off though so it wouldn’t be ideal, but I refuse to allow myself to sink again. I deserve peace and contentment in this life. Secondary suffering isn’t necessary or productive.